Backtalk Village: The Origin Story by Garden Marvel

 

I think Portmeirion, Wales is the perfect place for Backtalk. Let’s take a stroll and tote up its many advantages. ETA: AND Flerby’s bike route AND Chrono’s boat AND TheRevenchist’s ramen castle AND John’s lab AND croutons’ music hall AND ebola cat teas AND the lighthouse AND the murder mystery in the hotel with mrs.finch, crunch_y + oldwomanyellsatclods AND corgis and Toasted’s library AND Slacker’s Paradise with Secret Propaganda Press AND Dawnell’s garden AND Gerdie’s lair AND Scavvy’s bunnery AND Ghost’s statue AND a science lab.

Chrono can use this fun boat as Anime and Cosplay HQ. Pokemon contests will be held on the lawn above, near Pie’s theater. 

Yes, Backtalk Village also needs a castle and this beauty comes with a restaurant. Here we can have pancakes, birthday cake Oreos - or PINWHEELS - and TheRevenchist can make ramen for all us soy and noodle lovers.

We also need a place for sensible research (in a fun place!) And a place for people like John to work without having to ever socialize with someone they don’t like, while needing to pretend that they don’t hate them. So let’s use the round house on the right, across from Scavvy’s bunnery. 

Can’t find a proper pic of bicycling in Backtalk Village, but isn’t it a sweet place for bicycling in general? This spot, in particular, looks like a great place to take a spin for bikers like Flerby.

The Backtalk Concert Hall goes here. There is plenty of space for blameitonthecroutons to make mix tapes and Gamecat can use it in the evenings for songs we should all know. 

The Backtalk Village lighthouse is where we’ll light candles for all wayward and wandering BTers who might get busy in the outside world. Like teapot or lovelylipstick.

The two story mini mansion to your right offers ample space and light for all the kittehs. I picture ebola managing the cat high teas we have there, just off the courtyard.

BT’s cat high tea.

The weirdly filtered photo of our hotel’s lobby is the perfect place to host a Midsomer Murders whodunnit. Was it mrs. finch with the lead pipe in the Mermaid Cottage? crunch_y with the candlestick in the castle? Oldwomanyellsatclods with the wrench in the propaganda printing press room?

zhandi’s confessions can take place in the tower here. It looks secretive, right?

Snacks can be had al fresco, here. It looks like the perfect place for waffles, pancakes and macarons. 

Owl’s owlette’s plays can be here.

k2b’s rants can be ranted from the adorable ochre balcony. We’ll just need to move the red robed Jesus(?) first. And look - there’s even a sweet courtyard where we can group drink. In fact, either one of these buildings would make excellent pubs. We’ll offer French 77’s and G&T’s.

Pie’s movie showings can be held in the inn, by the water. Because obviously.

Granddad can do his computer stuff in the building to the left, where there is lots of light from the windows.

Clearly McCoy’s Mistress should have gotten freaking married here. (Hey, isn’t this zhandi’s tower? WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?!)

ziggy needs to work from this charming location because it looks as relaxing as her job isn’t.

kastle can live in this cottage sized castle, where she can be on the ground floor, if she wishes.

LaChategris gets to job hunt from this chateau with floor to ceiling windows. She can also defend Backtalk from this tower, if necessary. 

Gerdie gets a lair, in conveniently nearby Lairville. For extra plot-ability.

Scavvy’s army of bunnies, the queen of which is seen above at the bunny garden party is housed:

The bunnery goes in the red, two story building above. From her window Scavvy can keep an eye on any free roaming bunnies in the garden across the road and every morning and evening she can take her bunny army to either the garden to graze or to the BT pub to the back. (You can just make out k2b’s balcony from here.)

Number Six Ghost, who seems to feel that this is some sort of trick for information, can be found near this Atlas statue, discussing BT conspiracies charming folk tales. 

k2b has helpfully discovered this gem of a location, fresh on the market. Here is where all the mad scientists may conduct their late night experiments and, helpfully, cart off anything that needs discreet dumping on the coveniently location stone road.

Dawnell gets to plant honeysuckle by the bridge here, while YouGuise and Squiggles can doodle on sketchpads.

BTers tired of labor can retreat to this cottage, with its ice cream parlor on the ground floor - it is nicely situated across the street from a jam shop. Upstairs BTers run a “super-secret printing press for propaganda.” Occasional propaganda paper posts are delivered via Scavvy’s bunnies.

corgis for PM and ToastedCheeser can enjoy the BT library, which will be in the Mermaid Cottage here, just down the hill from LaChategris’ chateau.

Finally, we can play human chess on the chessboard left behind from The Prisoner filming.

What other buildings and spaces do we need?